“Well That Wasn’t Part of the Plan”

When My Plans Aren’t Flawless Enough

Original image credit to Annie Spratt

My Dear Lovelians and Lifers,

I don’t know about you, but I for one enjoy a good plan; the kind that makes me feel like I somewhat have my life under control because I know my next steps. The dates and times are all set up in my calendar. I know where I am going to be and when I am going to be there. My bags are packed and ready by the door. I am speaking somewhat metaphorically here. Then the hiccups happen; the unforeseen potholes; the wrench in the flawless plan, the timing of which feels laughably coincidental.

This past month of October was a rough one. And I know I am not the only one. It felt more like a month of cancellations and “I’m sorry, can’t make it”s. I do not typically go down hard with illnesses, which I am incredibly grateful for, but for some reason my body just did not want to recover fully. In all honesty, I believe there are a number of reasons I stayed unwell for so long. Some of them, based on my personality profile, are not that difficult to figure out. Because I am Type A Planner who delights in productivity, I do not go down easily in terms of illness. I eat well, sleep long, take vitamins, and convince my body I will be back to my old self in a day or two; I just keep pressing forward and don’t give the illness too much attention. This normally has the desired effect. The less I act sick, the less ill I feel and the quicker I return to my normal energetic self. But not this time.

No matter which psychological trick I applied or how well I ate or slept, I just would not heal according to my timetable. I ended up creating more problems by pushing myself so hard to get back to normal. I mean, I just started new jobs and volunteering at my new church. Now is the critical time of showing people reliability and work ethic. So many plans swirled down the drain because I was stuck in bed with a fever that would not break. Definitely not part of the plan.

Even after the fever finally broke and I was able to return to normal life, I felt like I was trudging on borrowed energy. Noon rolled around, and I desperately craved a nap. Friends, I do not nap. I did not feel up to doing anything more than working and coming home----more cancelled plans…

…

You know that phrase Your will be done Christians are supposed to live by? For those of you who do not know, this phrase was taken from a section in the Bible commonly referred to as The Lord’s Prayer. Sounds like a book title to me, but anyways, this statement comes right after the declaration that God is CEO of Fate. Your will be done…or Your plans be accomplished over mine if they do not line up with each other, which is easy to say but incredibly difficult to mean it. I find myself fighting it more often than not. I hate cancelling my plans. I hate it when others need to fill in for me even more. But alas, I am only human like everyone else, and my plans are not as flawless as I would like them to be. I suppose it is part of the whole I am not God concept my ego finds so incredibly irritating. And inconvenient. I mean, how dare Life not revolve around me and my plans?

This is the problem with making plans the center of attention. It stunts personal growth because it blinds me to any happenings outside of myself and my world. In other words, I stop looking for Him. I stop noticing His postcards with the words “Thinking of You” stamped across the front. I miss moments with people because I am living too fast with a one-track-mind of next meeting; next event; next activity. This can sometimes occur from filling a schedule too quickly even if it is not too full. I forget to acknowledge interruptions as life too and adapt to them. Even if they are not orchestrated by the hand of God Himself, the fact He allowed them means I need to pay attention, not to what I am missing or how I feel I am letting people down but what is right in front of me because though my plans do not always pan out, thankfully, His are flawless. He is impossibly good at melding life interruptions with His Master Blueprints which somehow, for some reason, involve me.

A little perspective is healthy for the soul.

Once again, I find myself out of the woods, whether fully out or in a clearing I have no means of knowing, and different than I was when I entered it.

Stay Curious,

Olivia

P.S. Y’all, Comic Con is so much fun. A man zoomed around on a segway while wearing an X-Wing with R2-D2 sticking out of the top.