Starting Again. Again.

Lessons from the Time-Out Corner

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My Dear Lovelians,

This will be my third attempt at writing this post. I haven't written in a while because...I guess you could say I got a little stuck. Stuck thinking a full life meant filling each day to the brim with meaningful activities, whatever that looked like for me. Now I'm back where I was at Christmas (see “Merry Christmas. Quit Striving”) when I took the holiday break to just be and enjoy life. Didn't take too long to start striving again, did it? My New Year's resolution consisted of making time for the most important activities and people in my life, which I did...by cramming them all into an hourly schedule. Then I got frustrated all over again because there are so many things I want to do and don't feel like I have enough time to do them. Here I am with my schedules and planners trying to force joy while Jesus face-palms in the corner where I shoved Him after telling the Author of Life "I got this." I don't got this. Back to square one, which, I guess, is sitting with Jesus in the time-out corner. I'm starting again. Again. Let's just say I have more compassion for the original twelve disciples than I ever have in my life.

Speaking of "ever have in my life," I spent five days as an only child this past week. First, a little perspective. I am the oldest middle child of four. This means, in the approximate decade-and-a-half of my existence, I have never been alone with my parents for any great length of time, certainly not five days. At first, I'll admit it felt weirder than I expected. My thought process switched from It's just five days to oh...five days.

For the first couple days, I saw blonde hair in my peripheral vision and heard witty retorts in the back of my mind whenever I expected them to be in a certain place or interject in the conversation at certain points. Would it be redundant to say I missed them?

After processing the weirdness of it all, I began to enjoy myself. My parents and I cycled around the neighborhood for a bit and other times enjoyed each other’s company in relative silence. See, I forget how much alike in temperament we are. They bring out my quieter, observational side while my younger siblings bring out my chattier, witty side. All five of us have an excellent sense of humor, so either way, we end up laughing.

During the week, we carried on like normal with a few exceptions to celebrate the rarity of our extended time together, such as aforementioned cycling on one of the beautiful 70-degree (F) days and rewatching the season finale of one of our favorite shows. My parents did already have some plans, so they blessed me with sprinkling a couple days in the week where I was left virtually alone. For the whole day. *grins impishly* Time for sewing and Peter Pan, the 2003 live action version of course. Then the three of us went out for drinks.

See, I want more moments like these, ones where I don’t push so hard for “meaningful” and just purely enjoy myself. I cannot plan them; I can only leave space open for them to take place, so here’s to starting over again. Again.

Your Lovelian from the Time-Out Corner,

Olivia

P.S. I really don’t like alcohol. Oh well, they tried. But here’s my favorite tzatziki sauce recipe (it goes with everything!): https://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/cucumber-dill-tzatziki