Commitment: I Am Still Here

Celebrating Along the Way

Original image credit to Josh Hild

My Dear Lovelians and Lifers,

I know, I missed a week. Commitment takes time to master, and I am obviously not quite there yet. However, I do believe some celebration is in order because this weekend is the one-year anniversary of Dear Old World! How about that? I may not be perfect at commitment just yet, but that does not make it wrong to celebrate the small victories along the way. One year ago Friday I posted my very first letter.

I think back to where I was and how it all started and cannot help but marvel. Evolution, a word which today has such a religious (or lack thereof) connotation, has come to mean something quite different to me. Growth. Change. Resilience. Adaptation… Okay, a few things then.

I used to believe the only way I could be a source of goodness and encouragement was by posting stories of lighthearted moments and laughter. While these are in no way wrong, and I will continue to look for and share them, I realize now that simply admitting I made it through today holds power as well. I am not always bursting at the seams with joy, and sometimes I find it impossible to look up to Heaven and say “thank you.” I am not proud of these moments, but they exist. And guess what commitment shows? I am still here. And that is a declaration of faith unto itself. I am still here and still believing in sunny mornings even if I have been up past midnight for one reason or another.

I look back and am honestly flabbergasted at the unpredictability of life, and not just because I have been a college graduate for about a year-and-a-half (WHAT?!). I moved twice during that time, said “hello” and “goodbye” to too many friends, acquired full-time work in the most unusual combo, reunited on a permanent basis with family, and became a very different person in the process.

I learned to ask for help and admit when I am not fine, though I have not exactly perfected either of them; I saw with my own two eyes the unexplainable beauty of authenticity; and I am coming to terms with my life as it is instead of allowing myself to feel weighed-down by expectation, my own or someone else’s.

I admit I am still learning how to rest, and while joy sometimes feels like a next-door neighbor instead of a permanent resident in my own home, I have not quite forgotten how to laugh. My hope for Dear Old World throughout this next year is fuller commitment. Because even if I cannot give as much as I would like, just a little bit of growth, any amount of further progression from where I used to be, is okay with me.

Stay Curious,

Olivia

P.S. Speaking of anniversaries, happy 28th Mom and Dad! Now that is commitment.