Be Still. The LORD is with You

On Self-Discipline and Life as a Partial Shade Plant

Original image credit to Roberta Sorge

My Dear Lovelians & Lifers,

LORD God, I stand in awe of Your deeds.

Revive Your work in these years;

Make it known in these years.

In the midst of Your wrath, remember mercy!

My longing plea; my New Year’s prayer. I yearn for Him to complete the good work He began in me when I first stepped foot on the Warrior’s Road. And now, I hold in my hands the firstfruits of the path I have chosen. Granted, they fit inside my palm, but I couldn’t be prouder or more excited. We did this together.

I planted the seed of obedience; He called and I followed. He watered my little seed and fertilized it with endurance, and I didn’t dig it up no matter how much I wanted to. When I asked Him why life has been so hard recently, He showed me my seed needs partial shade. Too much sun would kill it. Be still. The LORD is with you. He says this to me a lot.

I’ve gotten used to being a partial shade plant. There are no words to accurately describe how it feels to be okay with not seeing ten steps ahead. Or even tomorrow. My little seed of obedience blossomed beautifully. Now for the next growth phase.

By the end of Christmas break, I couldn’t wait to return to work and get my rhythm back. I hated the lethargic blob I had become. The first day arrived, and I showed up feeling like skewed glasses and an electrified messy bun, despite my classy updo, tights, and heels. The past two days had been crammed full of hours completing every errand and project I had put off. The previous semester, I operated at about 40%----10% for saying ‘yes’; 10% for showing up; and 20% for a pocket full of slapped-together ideas. I could do better.

I need to do better. Thinking of what I would become with the arrival of summer break makes me stare procrastination in the eye daily and declare No more. We’re done you and I. Enduring obedience is the first mile-marker along the Warrior’s Road. Self-Discipline is the second. I am not necessarily promoting the growth of long white beards and sitting amongst a slew of tiny lit candles for hours on end, though I suppose this could be a form of self-discipline. I am more referring to the habits formed out of the little everyday choices. In other words, I am finally holding myself to the same standard I hold my students to. The LORD is with you.

How can I be a truly effective warrior serving on the side of the LORD of Armies in my current state of unreliability and apathy? My little seed needs more care and attention now than just showing up with a handful of scraps. And frankly, my kids need more. I am their teacher. How I show up matters just as much if not more than what projects I show up with.

I don’t feel like it just isn’t a good enough excuse for not going the full mile anymore, especially since I really have no clue what tomorrow brings. I may have time; I may not.

The trick is balance, limiting myself to what I need to do today rather than pile everything on at once. Thankfully, there is grace for this too. I will keep practicing. After all, restraint is another form of self-discipline.

I’ve got my work cut out for me, and some days I watch my students amble through my door and fear is it enough? And every time, I’ve learned to hold to His whispered be still. The LORD is with you.    

You have my Sword,

Olivia

P.S. I recently met a little boy about eight years old who named his Night Fury dragon Paul. Paul the Night Fury. Enjoy.